Sometimes I struggle with my eating. I wonder why it’s so hard for me to maintain healthy eating habits. I want to do it. I’ve done it before. I’m low-key doing it now, but I want to take it to the next level. I work hard to do it on a daily basis, but there’s always that internal voice pushing me towards the fries and away from the side salad. I realized this is an attempt to break years of bad eating habits. I’ve been eating crazy for legit y e a r s.
I really don’t remember what the lunches consisted of in elementary school. Friday was always pizza day, but other than that I guess the meals were relatively healthy. Middle school is my horrible eating started. French fries. Everyday. With every meal. Sometimes fries were the only thing I ate. Pizza and fries. Chicken fingers and fries. Burger and fries. Fries and a churro (wtf?!). I’m sure the superintendent or the state mandated fruits and veggies, but I promise you I don’t remember seeing them let alone eating them. I was all good though. I was young and super active. I danced (African and tap), played field hockey for a bit, played myself and tried to be a cheerleader…so it was easy to maintain.
As I headed to college, I was terrified of the Freshman Fifteen. Fifteen pounds can change a life! Plus, I’ve always been about two cheeseburgers away, so I had to proceed with caution. My freshman year consisted of sleep and Burger King (at least once a day), Taco Bell, Easy Mac and CapriSun blessings (Safra you were always right on time girl!), boxes of Krispy Kreme (I love donuts) and bagels for breakfast. Bad. It was pretty bad. By the grace of The Almighty, I didn’t gain. Like at all. My food cup didn’t runneth over as much when I lived off campus. My meal plan was d r y. Pair that with the trek I had to make to and from campus regardless of where I lived…I ended up losing weight.
Making it out of college relatively the same size as I entered was a win. Ahead were years of more bad food choices. How was I gonna stop eating a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese, jelly, AND bacon every morning or jimmy johns for lunch errryday? How?
This stemmed from my wedding dress fitting. I was nervous that things wouldn’t fit or would be spilling out. I knew my hips would be kind of problematic because they always are, but after some hip liberation…My dress fit so bomb! I’m good. Sure there are things that I’d like to improve and I’m working on it. I watch my portions, attempt to eat clean, and work out. So I shouldn’t be so hard on myself when I have the occasional Wawa meatball sandwich for dinner. After 8 pm. Yesterday. This happened yesterday. I went to the gym this morning though.